This question deserves a clear and definitive answer. As with every detail at the table, the wine etiquette has precise rules to follow to resolve the matter.

In this article, we’ll explain who should choose the bottle of wine at the restaurant and share a few practical tips to help you handle this situation in the best possible way.

Who chooses the wine at the restaurant: etiquette and practical tips

Let’s start with the main general rule and then move on to the more specific situations.

In general, wine etiquette states that the person who invites others to the restaurant and pays the bill has the right to choose the wine to be served. In other words, they may select the bottle to be opened during the meal.

It’s a right, not an obligation, and it doesn’t mean imposing one’s own taste on the other guests. Whoever chooses the wine should consider three key aspects:

1. guests’ preferences: red wine, white wine, sparkling? Those who are more knowledgeable or have particular tastes deserve to be involved in the choice.

2. food pairing: not all wines go well with the dishes being served. When selecting, it’s essential to understand which wine best complements the meal.

3. budget: the choice should respect the agreed-upon price range.

Let’s reiterate that the host has the right to choose the bottle, but is not obligated to do so. If they don’t consider themselves wine experts and one of the guests is more knowledgeable, they can delegate the task to the person regarded as the most experienced.

It may happen, therefore, that the person choosing the wine is not the one paying the bill. In these situations, wine etiquette suggests a few important considerations. In addition to the criteria already mentioned for selecting the right bottle, there’s another key rule: avoid proposing the most expensive wine on the list.

Only the person paying has the freedom to choose the most expensive bottle, unless the selection is shared. If the person making the choice is not contributing to the bill, suggesting a high-priced bottle could place the payer in a delicate situation. To avoid appearing rude, the payer would feel almost obliged to accept the choice, even if the price exceeds the budget.

Who chooses the wine when the bill is split among friends or family?

When a dinner takes place among friends or family and the bill is split evenly, choosing the wine becomes a delicate matter: there isn’t a single payer with the right to decide independently, nor someone who can delegate the choice.

In these cases, wine etiquette suggests sharing the decision among all participants. It may take a little more time, but it’s the best way to maintain harmony at the table. Simply ask those who will be drinking the wine for their opinions on taste and preferred type.

A democratic approach prevents anyone from feeling excluded or forced to accept a wine they do not enjoy.

If the differences in taste among the guests are too pronounced, it’s possible to opt for versatile wines or even multiple bottles, in order to satisfy everyone. In these cases, however, it is essential to always keep the budget in mind: unless everyone agrees, it is advisable to avoid choosing the most expensive bottle on the wine list.

If, on the other hand, there are wine experts among the friends or family, the group can decide to delegate the choice of the bottle to them. Even in this situation, the principle of balance still applies: it’s best to avoid the most expensive wine available, ensuring that everyone feels comfortable and that the evening remains enjoyable for all.

Does the sommelier have to choose the bottle of wine that customers drink at the restaurant?

Let’s answer right away: no, the sommelier should never choose the bottle on behalf of the customers. Their main role is to advise, guide and suggest options, not to decide for those seated at the table.

In restaurants with a sommelier available, it is advisable to ask for recommendations: the sommelier is a valuable ally. You can and should rely on their suggestions, even though the final decision always remains with the customer. The sommelier can propose various options based on personal taste, food pairings and help the customer stay within the established budget, avoiding excessive spending or selecting bottles that are not suitable for the occasion.

In short, the sommelier becomes a trusted consultant, capable of making the wine selection process easier and more enjoyable, without ever taking away the customer’s freedom and right to choose.