Behind this choice, which may seem obvious, lies one of the most debated issues in Wine Etiquette. According to proper etiquette, in fact, pouring wine for yourself is not always the correct or recommended thing to do.

To know what to do in these situations, you can turn to our Wine Blog, ready to help you navigate even the most particular scenarios related to Wine Etiquette. In this article, we’ll discover together when it’s acceptable to pour wine for yourself and when it’s better to let others do it for you. By the end of the article, you’ll know exactly how to handle these situations with confidence.

Is pouring wine for yourself a mistake?

We're here to understand what Wine Etiquette has to say on this topic, but the truth is that there’s no fixed rule that applies to every situation. There isn’t always a single right or wrong way to behave. It all depends on the context, the type of company, the nature of the event and the occasion you’re in. Sometimes, pouring wine for yourself is perfectly normal and even well accepted; other times, it’s better to wait for someone else to fill your glass.

So, let’s make one thing clear right away: pouring wine for yourself is not always a mistake. What matters most is knowing when it’s appropriate to follow the traditional rules of etiquette, and when it’s acceptable to take a more relaxed, informal, and spontaneous approach. Let’s take a look together at the situations where others should be the ones to serve you and those in which you can confidently pour the wine yourself.

When Is pouring wine for yourself a mistake?

Let’s be clear right away: if you’ve been invited to lunch or dinner at someone’s home, it’s the host who should take care of serving the wine, as a sign of courtesy and hospitality.

On the other hand, if you’re at a restaurant during a formal lunch or dinner, with a sommelier and staff dedicated to service, they will be the ones to pour the wine, following the specific rules of wine etiquette.

To sum up, we can say that pouring wine for yourself is considered a mistake in two main cases:

• formal lunches or dinners at restaurants with staff specialized in wine service;

• lunches or dinners where you are a guest and the host is responsible for serving the wine.

You’re probably wondering why, on these occasions, pouring wine for yourself is considered a mistake. Letting the host or the person in charge of the service do it is a sign of courtesy, kindness and respect. On the other hand, serving yourself could be interpreted as a sign of impatience or irritability, or worse, as a lack of trust toward the person handling the service.

In short, if there is a person designated or responsible for serving the wine, it is proper and right that this person takes care of it. According to Wine Etiquette, recognizing and respecting roles, professionalism and expertise is of fundamental importance.

When is it acceptable to pour wine for yourself? When is pouring wine for yourself NOT a mistake?

As we mentioned earlier, pouring wine for yourself is not always a mistake; in fact, in many everyday situations, it is perfectly acceptable. Specifically, we can identify two main occasions where serving yourself is appropriate:

• informal lunches or dinners at a restaurant;

• family lunches or dinners.

Imagine you’re having dinner with friends, perhaps in a restaurant where there is no staff dedicated to pouring wine. The evening is calm, friendly and relaxed, just like being at home. In these cases, serving yourself wine is completely normal and acceptable. It’s precisely this kind of setting, characterized by simplicity and familiarity, that makes this practice not only possible but also appropriate.

The same applies when you’re having lunch or dinner with your family. The informal and intimate atmosphere allows you to set aside some of the stricter and more traditional rules of wine etiquette. In these situations, pouring wine for yourself is a completely normal and accepted custom.

In conclusion, now you know that pouring wine for yourself is not always a mistake: it all depends on the context and the occasion. In informal situations, among friends or family, or in places without dedicated service, it is perfectly normal. On the other hand, in more formal or ceremonial settings, it’s better to wait for someone else to serve you, to respect the rules of good manners. Knowing these differences allows you to act with confidence and ease, making every occasion pleasant and respectful.