This is a very common situation when some people at the table don’t drink wine.

Many of you have probably found yourselves in this situation at least once, accompanied by the inevitable uncertainty about what the fairest and most appropriate way to handle the bill is.

So, let’s turn to etiquette and take a look at how to handle the bill when not everyone at the table has had wine, as well as the common-sense rules to follow in these situations.

Who pays for the wine at a restaurant according to etiquette?

In general, there is no universal answer: depends on the type of occasion and the arrangements agreed upon by the people at the table.

According to etiquette, if you invite someone to lunch or dinner, the person who extends the invitation is expected to pay the bill. This is the simplest situation: regardless of what is ordered or consumed, the person who invited everyone pays, as this is part of the responsibilities associated with their “role.”

If, on the other hand, there is no actual invitation and a dinner is organized together with others, for example, a group of friends, the situation is different. In this case, there is no obligation for one person to pay for everyone and the arrangements agreed upon by the group become particularly important, ideally before the dinner.

It is precisely in this situation, when there is no single person who is hosting and paying, that the greatest misunderstandings and the most delicate situations can arise, especially when it comes to deciding who should pay for the wine and when not everyone at the table has had any.

So, let’s take a look at the most common situations and how to handle them.

Should the cost of wine at a restaurant be split among everyone?

It depends.

If there is no one person who invited the others and is therefore expected to pay the bill, there are essentially two situations you may find yourself in, and each calls for a different approach:

• Everyone drinks wine

• Someone does not drink wine

So, what should you do in these situations according to etiquette? Let’s take a look.

If everyone drinks wine, should the cost of the bottle be split?

Yes, generally speaking. It is undoubtedly the simplest, most straightforward and intuitive solution.

If everyone at the table has had wine, it is natural to split the cost of the bottle equally. In this case, everyone has taken part in consuming it and should therefore contribute to the cost.

It is true that one person may have had an extra glass while another had one less, but trying to calculate exactly how much each individual drank is hardly an elegant solution. When the differences are minor, common sense suggests simply splitting the cost equally. And if everyone agreed before ordering the bottle that its cost would be shared among the group, that agreement should be respected.

Rather than being a strict rule, etiquette encourages people to avoid overly meticulous calculations and, above all, awkward situations when the bill arrives.

Of course, if the differences in consumption are significant, other solutions can be considered, similar to those used when someone at the table does not drink wine ...

Should people who don’t drink wine have to pay for it?

If there is one or more people at the table who did not drink wine, the situation changes. According to etiquette, it would not be considered appropriate to ask those who did not drink the wine to contribute to the cost of the bottle.

The recommended solution is to separate the cost of the wine from the rest of the bill and split it only among those who actually drank it. Anyone who decides to order a bottle of wine should take the initiative and let the other diners who do not drink know that the cost of the bottle will be covered by those who choose to drink it. It is a simple gesture of courtesy toward those who, having not consumed any wine, would have no reason to contribute to that expense.

However, this does not mean that there is an absolute rule. The first thing to respect is the agreement reached among the diners. If everyone agreed before the dinner to split the entire bill equally, then those who do not drink wine should also accept contributing to the cost of the bottle. Similarly, the group can decide that each person will pay for what they actually consumed, or that some expenses will be split among everyone while others will be paid only by those who benefited from them.

In other words, etiquette indicates what is generally considered the fairest and most appropriate approach, but agreements made among the participants take precedence. If everyone agrees on a particular way of splitting the bill, that is the rule the group has chosen to follow.

For this reason, it is always preferable to agree in advance on how the bill will be divided, especially when it is known that not everyone will be drinking wine. Deciding beforehand whether to split everything equally, whether everyone will pay according to what they consumed, or whether the wine will be paid for only by those who drank it makes it possible to avoid arguments, awkward calculations and uncomfortable situations when the bill arrives.

First and foremost, agree on the rules. And if nothing has been decided in advance, common sense suggests taking into account, as far as possible, what each person actually consumed.