Someone offers us another glass of wine, but we don’t want to drink any more. Almost without thinking, instinctively, we place a hand over the wine glass or simply bring it close to the top, even without touching the rim, still covering the opening.

The message is clear. It is as if we were saying, “Thank you, I don’t want any more”. And we might even accompany the gesture with a phrase like that.

But is this gesture actually considered appropriate according to Wine Etiquette? Is it acceptable or not? Are there any alternatives?

My curiosity about this began with a conversation with some friends who are experts in Etiquette and a discussion that turned out to be much more interesting than expected.

Take a few minutes and let’s find out together what Wine Etiquette has to say.

Can you cover the wine glass with your hand to refuse morewine?

Putting your hand over the wine glass when you don’t want any more wine is a genuine form of non-verbal communication. It is intuitive, immediate, and effective: the person pouring the wine immediately understands that you do not want any more, without the need to say anything else.

But according to Wine Etiquette, there are more discreet and elegant ways to communicate the same thing.

So, is it rude?

No. Covering the wine glass with your hand to refuse more wine cannot be considered a serious breach of good manners or respect. The gesture is understandable and, in certain situations, it may even come naturally.

However, if we want to follow proper table manners, it would be preferable to avoid it and choose a more discreet way of communicating that we do not want any more.

We can answer the initial question like this: it is better not to put your hand over the wine glass when you do not want any more wine. Not because it is a rude gesture, but because there are more elegant alternatives.

And, as is often the case when talking about Wine Etiquette, it is important to consider the context. What may be perfectly acceptable during a dinner with friends can seem less appropriate on a formal or elegant occasion.

Hand over the wine glass to refuse more wine: what does etiquette say in informal settings?

We know that, in informal settings, among friends and family, etiquette rules tend to be less strict. Familiarity, closeness, and the kind of relationship we have with the people around us make certain behaviors acceptable even though they might seem less appropriate in a more formal situation.

This does not mean that anything goes at home. Even in a family setting, it is always important to show a certain level of consideration and respect for others.

Putting your hand over the glass to indicate that you do not want any more wine can fall precisely into the category of acceptable gestures. It is preferable to reserve this gesture for more informal situations, where it is unlikely to be perceived as abrupt or inelegant.

Hand over the wine glass to refuse more wine in formal settings: what does etiquette say?

In an elegant or formal setting, covering the glass with your hand can come across as a more abrupt gesture.

Our friends who are experts in good manners explained that, by placing your hand over the glass, you are not simply communicating that you do not want any more wine. You are also physically placing yourself between the bottle and the glass, stopping the person who is pouring. It is certainly a very clear signal, but it can seem much more decisive than necessary, especially on an occasion where the aim is to maintain a certain level of elegance.

It is certainly not an offensive or rude gesture. It is simply the fact that it is so strong and direct that makes it less suitable for a formal situation.

But then, what should you do?

How can you indicate that you don’t want any more wine?

Etiquette suggests other very simple and discreet ways to communicate that you do not want any more wine in your glass, without having to “protect” the glass with your hand.

All you need to do is:

• simply say, “No, thank you”;

• make a small gesture with your hand, moving it slightly from right to left, with your palm facing the person serving you;

• give a small nod, gently shaking your head to accompany your refusal.

The first option is the most appropriate and can be accompanied by either of the two non-verbal gestures. This way, the message is clear yet discreet.

There is no need to invent anything, let alone come up with an elaborate excuse. Don’t want any more wine? Just say so. That is more than enough to decline politely and respectfully.

And there is also a small piece of etiquette advice worth remembering, because it applies in many other situations as well: accompany your words and gestures with a smile. It may seem like a small detail, but it helps make the refusal even more friendly and puts the person serving the wine at ease.