As always, the wine etiquette provides clear and precise answers to all these questions. So let’s find out together who should pour the wine at the table according to the rules of Wine Etiquette.

Who should pour the wine: etiquette rules and practical situations

As often happens when it comes to the finer points of wine etiquette, and as our regular readers well know, it’s the context that determines what is appropriate and, in this case, who should be in charge of pouring the wine. In short, the person who should pour the wine at the table varies depending on the situation. For this reason, Wine Etiquette establishes clear yet flexible rules, designed to adapt to every occasion, whether it’s a formal dinner or a lunch among friends.

Certainly, the underlying idea remains the same: to make the moment of serving wine harmonious and respectful, avoiding confusion and preventing everyone from serving themselves. In Wine Etiquette, the act of pouring wine for others is much more than a mere formality: it’s a gesture of attention, hospitality and courtesy. Allowing each guest to pour their own wine, on the other hand, can break that sense of harmony and care that should define every shared moment at the table.

For this reason, there should always be one designated person responsible for pouring the wine.

In general, and according to tradition, wine should be poured by:

• the host, when you are a guest in someone’s home

• the waiting staff or the sommelier, when dining at a restaurant

Below, we’ll go into more detail: let’s see how these general rules may change depending on the context and what the possible exceptions are.

Who should pour the wine at home?

In a domestic or family setting, it is the host who should pour the wine at the table.

Personally serving the wine is a way of saying, even without words:

“I’m taking care of you.”
“You are welcome here.”
“You are my guest, let me serve you.”

It’s a simple yet meaningful gesture, considered an act of courtesy, attention and hospitality, helping to create an even warmer and more convivial atmosphere. It’s a small gesture that expresses care and a genuine sense of welcome.

Who should pour the wine at home: exceptions

Wine etiquette adapts to the context and to the type of guests. During informal dinners, for example, among family members, relatives, or friends, it may be perfectly appropriate for the wine to be poured by:

• the person most knowledgeable about wine, if the host is not particularly familiar with it;

• the guest who brought the bottle, if it was purchased and gifted by one of the diners.

In situations of close familiarity and informality, such as a lunch among very close relatives or long-time friends, the rules become even more flexible. In these cases, it is acceptable to agree informally and allow guests to serve themselves.

According to Wine Etiquette, however, it is still considered good manners for an attentive host to offer to pour first, using sentences such as:

“Shall I pour you some wine, or would you prefer to serve yourself?”

These small gestures help keep the spirit of etiquette alive, showing care and consideration for one’s guests. In short, the host always remains the main point of reference for pouring the wine, but the host can choose to share this role with others depending on the context and the level of familiarity.

Who pours the wine at a restaurant?

In a more formal setting, such as a restaurant, the task of serving the wine falls to the waiting staff. The act of pouring wine is considered a true ritual of hospitality, helping to make the guest’s dining experience more pleasant and refined.

In general, there are two main professional figures responsible for pouring wine in restaurants:

• the sommelier, in restaurants that have this professional. The sommelier presents the bottle, offers a small taste to the guest for approval, and then proceeds to serve the other diners.

• the waiter, in restaurants without a sommelier. In this case as well, the wine should be served with care and discretion, following the same rules of courtesy.

Among the duties of both the waiter and the sommelier, beyond presenting and pouring the wine, is to ensure that glasses are kept properly filled, always with attentiveness and without being intrusive.

Who pours the wine at a restaurant: exceptions

In any case, modern etiquette allows for a certain degree of flexibility. Not every situation requires a formal service, much depends on the type of restaurant, as well as the “tone” and “nature” of the meal.

In more informal restaurants, or in those where there is no continuous table service, the waiter usually pours the first glass for tasting and then leaves the bottle on the table. This discreet gesture indicates that guests are free to serve themselves for the rest of the meal, at their own pace and without needing to call the waiter each time.

This practice is considered perfectly acceptable, especially during meals with friends or family, or at more relaxed business dinners. In such cases, diners can agree among themselves: either everyone serves their own glass, or the host or the most knowledgeable wine drinker in the group can take on the role of pouring.

Now you know who should be in charge of pouring the wine in different situations. Remember: by following the rules of wine etiquette, you’ll always make a great impression and help make every moment at the table even more enjoyable and refined.